When I was in high school I was waiting to grow taller, and now at nearly 21, I’m still waiting… I guess I’m destined to be 5 ft for life. I always like to think how my life would be different if I was like 5 inches taller, and I think a lot of smaller people think like this, “what if I was taller, I may have become a model” hahaha, well obviously that was never going to happen but, it’s always nice to dream.
One of the funniest things I see on twitter is the posts about all the problems we small girls have, like, never getting pants to fit, when you hug someone and you face plant their chest, or we can never reach anything on the top shelf – EVER! These are just some of the daily struggles we have being small, but it isn’t always doom and gloom. So I’ve come up with a list of some of my favourite things about being a homunculus
“A homunculus is a representation of a small human being. Popularised in sixteenth-century alchemy and nineteenth-century fiction, it has historically referred to the creation of a miniature, fully formed human. The concept has roots in preformationism as well as earlier folklore and alchemic traditions.”
1.Shoes are cheaper
This is true to an extent if you’re small you would normally have smaller feet as well. This means that you can get to buy kids shoes (woo!) Obviously not in heels and fashionable shoes but, for trainers, you can get them for half price for the exact same shoe. This is what I do with all my trainers, I will never pay £90 for a pair of Nike trainers when I can get them for £45. The best place to get them from is Zalando they have a large variety of kids shoes. I mean there has to be an advantage for us people who can never see at concerts or festivals.
2.You look younger
To some this may be a disadvantage as they don’t want to look 15 on a night out but, when you want to save money it is the best thing. I have not paid the full amount for public transport for years, I never get stopped in town to speak to anyone and when people knock at the door they always ask for my parents instead of speaking to me. I mean yeah taller people may get to buy alcohol but, I don’t have to speak to people selling double glazing, so who’s really winning?
3.You can fit anywhere and scare people
For us small people, it’s Halloween every day! We can hide in bins, behind dogs and even in little potholes and scare people. Who wouldn’t want to do that, just walk down the street, find a great hiding place and scare the sh*t out of someone? I mean I do this all the time, and never get sick of it. I suppose the fully grown adults of the world may not like it but, who gives a fuck about them? You can see I’m running out of good things about being small, so here are some of the bad…
Jeans – Newlook (Sale) – Petite
The main bad thing about being a homunculus is obviously the clothes, I mean stores have really stepped up with their petite section but, there still isn’t a large variety especially in long dresses or in tailored clothing. Only because I’m small doesn’t mean I want a baggy pantsuit or an oversized blazer. I do actually want to look presentable at work or in a professional environment not like a child wearing my mum’s old work clothes.
2.People use you as an armrest
Have you ever done your hair perfectly, gone and met someone who has used your head as an arm rest? No? Well, you are obviously not small! Who thinks that is a good idea, just because my head just happens to fall where your elbow doesn’t mean you can rest them on my head. I deserve a little respect and so does my hair.
3.Constantly being reminded that you are small
Now come one, you must realise that in my 20 years of being on this earth that I have sussed out my height before you told me. Because before you, I had absolutely no idea I was small, I thought I was a giant before that conversation. Now, this must be a shock for all those people out there who have said this to someone, so I’ll give you a sec to let this sink in….
… You ok now? I know that was hard to hear. But, sincerely from smaller people, I don’t want to listen to your jokes, however true they are.
This post is not to be taken seriously, it’s all fun and games and hopefully my sarcasm is coming through, but still, most things in this are true and if you haven’t bought kids shoes before you definitely should. I like to think I’m small because I’m closer to hell, but that’s just me or that God only allows things to grow until they are perfect, and some of us just didn’t take that long.😝
If you have anything else to add to the list make sure to leave a comment down below and if you’re tall leave some things you love and hate. Have a lovely day or night whenever you read this, and until next time.